How To Be a Really Good Perfectionist
On just getting started to achieve our wildest dreams
It’s always been clear to me that I’m a perfectionist. What has been less clear is whether I’m good at being a perfectionist. The irony!
Are you really a perfectionist if you’re not a perfect perfectionist?
Last year as part of EV Salon’s book club, we read The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control. As soon as I saw the title, I was ambivalent. Would this really apply to me if I’m not good at being a perfectionist? Would I just feel guilty the whole time?
Despite my hesitance, I love a good book club and proceeded to listen to the audiobook. The author, Katherine Morgan Shafler - a psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google, begins with a quiz (which you can take here). As soon as the quiz was complete and Katherine began to expand upon the five perfectionist types, I was sold on everything.
Eyes wide, brows raised, heart pumping, I felt seen. She repeated the exact thoughts that had swirled around my mind that I had never been able to fully articulate. I got home that night and quickly shared my newfound insights with my husband, speeding through each epiphany that had sparked for me, hardly able to get the words out fast enough.
There are five types of perfectionists: Classic, Intense, Parisian, Procrastinator, and Messy. I’d highly recommend reading the book and taking the quiz to find out which one you are. So much so that I became somewhat of a book and quiz pusher a la Mean Girls while at work one day. It was so interesting to learn each person’s type! In fact, it may even help in working together - understanding teammates’ perfectionist types just as you’d understand a love language for a romantic partner.
I digress. So as not to bury the lede, I am a Procrastinator Perfectionist through and through. For my people and me, just starting feels like the worst. Not because we’re lazy or unmotivated (something I’ve questioned time and time again, though I know it to be false, “but then why can’t I get things done sometimes?”), but because we want to execute them perfectly. We become stuck in a cycle of overthinking and self-doubt, spending a significant amount of time imagining or planning, waiting for the “right moment” or ideal circumstances to begin. We procrastinate as a protective measure to avoid the discomfort of imperfection or failure. And yet, while we dread the possibility that something may not meet our high standards, we often deliver high-quality work, thus reinforcing the habit of procrastination. Phew.
That is my childhood summarized. That is my adulthood. That is this yoga business dream of mine.
But here’s the thing. You always have to be starting. Especially when you want to build something new and grow a business as I do. You have to start. all. the. dang. time.
So this year, my word is START.
With every social media post, every Substack, every yoga class, we are starting. Whatever it is you’re dreaming up or working on, I invite you to start with me.
Because it’s not a matter of being a bad perfectionist. It’s not a matter of being lazy, or not wanting something enough. And there are ways to make things work for us. The hardest thing may be just getting started and that’s something we’re gonna have to get used to. But once we get going, it’s gonna be great. In fact, I bet you it’ll be even better than perfect.
What perfectionist type are you? I would love to know!!
What are you starting this year? I want to hear about it! Let’s do this together.
RECENT HIGHLIGHTS:
Reflecting, Planning, Goal-Setting, Vision-Boarding, All The Fun Stuff: I’ve been deep in the 2024 reflection and 2025 planning process over the last couple weeks. Here are a few nuggets of content I’ve enjoyed, if you’re so inclined:
Mel Robbins: How to Make Next Year the Best Year: Ask Yourself These 7 Questions
Mel Robbins: How to Achieve Any Goal You Have in 6 Simple Steps
Cameron Rogers: Here’s How I’m Planning for 2025 To Be The Best Year Yet
WATCH: Here’s our mindset for 2025 as we START
READ: The Daily Stoic | The Pivot Year
I love a daily prompt book to begin the day after breathwork. I bought The Pivot Year in anticipation of the start of the year and a friend gifted me The Daily Stoic, both of which I’m loving. It’s definitely unnecessary to begin the day with both, but I can’t choose right now so I’m reading a page from each every morning and then I journal.
WEAR: Responsible Down Long Puffer Jacket
My last long puffer coat is from February 2011 during a Macy’s winter sale in NYC and it was high time for a new one. I found this one and did a bunch of research. I’ve never purchased from Quince, but have been intrigued about a handful of their products for a while. I was nervous about the quality or that it wouldn’t be truly warm for a New England winter, especially for such a good price, but my goodness, people, it is so good. The “feel like” temperature last week was in the single digits here and I was so warm. The length is great, it has thumb holes to keep out the cold at the wrist, there’s a double zipper and snaps at the bottom… I could go on. I shared about it on Instagram last week and a ton of you responded with other products you’ve loved from Quince so consider my interest piqued! More Quince adventures to come.
RECENT CLASSES:
We’re halfway through January already, which means we’re halfway through our Align with the New Year program!
For 31 days, our entire library is open with a calendar of classes, one for each day. Each practice is linked directly in the calendar, class times range from 11-50 minutes, and include a mixture of vinyasa, restorative, meditation, and functional movement.
There’s no formal sign up and you’re welcome to join us at any time. You also don’t need to follow the calendar if your heart feels pulled towards different classes on different days. Your practice is your own and I’d love for you to make it exactly that: yours!
ADD HEART OPENERS CLASS
Thank you for practicing with me! I’m so grateful you’re here. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok, and shop my favorites here. If you enjoy weekly yoga classes, please consider becoming a paid subscriber.