Creating Connection + Community
All it takes is a tiny bit of intention
Last night we had our February book club.
It marked our one-year anniversary as a group! Which feels particularly special to me because creating a book club was something my ‘22/’23 soul really needed. And oh, how good it is for the soul.
Honestly, the fact that it initially came to fruition and is still happening on a monthly basis amongst a group of moms feels like a small miracle.
In November 2022 in the midst of the holidays, just a little more than a year postpartum with my son, I felt lonely and disconnected. As I sat with those feelings and thought about where they might stem from, I realized that maybe I longed for more connection in general, but especially with mom friends. Life gets thrown for a loop when a new baby enters the picture and I wanted to be around others who could relate, empathize, share in the joys and woes.
There was a moment during that first year postpartum when I thought I didn’t have many mom friends around me. I joined the Peanut app, which others had recommended, but it just felt a little too weird for me. At some point that November though, I realized that I had plenty of friends who were moms who were at least somewhat nearby in neighboring towns, but that we just had to be intentional with our time and planning in order to make it happen.
The TikTok algorithm has served this up many times to me so maybe this is niche content, but our society in the US isn’t set up for easy socializing with our lack of third places and the way we use our time.
In Europe, for example, it’s common for friends and parents with kids to regularly meet up with others at the end of a work day. Which if I’m being honest sounds wonderful on the one hand - the part of my being that thrives on friendship - and sounds awful on the other - the introverted part of me that just wants to follow our dinner, bath, bedtime routine and relax for a bit on the couch.
Back to book club.
That idea around intentionality that first came from creating our cool moms book club trickled into other areas of my life this past year. So much so that last September, I realized I had been given an abundance of riches with at least four different groups of mom friends texting about plans to get together. These weren’t new friends! These conversations were the result of wanting to create connection with intention.
This feels poignant now because of our one year book club anniversary, but also because it’s February. There can be hygge in hibernation, absolutely. It’s the season where we’re offered the opportunity to cocoon so that we’re ready to bloom come spring.
But we’re also often more isolated in winter. If you’re feeling seasonal affective disorder or just kind of out of sorts (more than normal ☺), maybe spend a little time getting intentional about connection. Maybe reach out to someone who it’d be nice to catch up with. Maybe just a phone call or a coffee chat - or maybe a monthly book club. Maybe a quarterly gathering of friends.
I’ll be honest - Often when I’m leaving the house to socialize, which doesn’t happen all that much, I’ll lightly lament to my husband that I don’t really feel like going. 99% of the time though, upon my return, I also let him know that I’m so glad I went.
Connection and community is so hugely important to our well-being. I think we sometimes may forget that. And sometimes it means we have to put a bit of effort in, but what you give, you get back.
That connection and community is so much of what I’d like to create here too. Hopefully with in-person events at some point! (Let me know if you’d be interested in this!!) If you’ve made it thus far, thank you for being here, for connecting with me, for being a part of this community.
Always grateful for you,
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK:
READ: Iron Flame
This is the second in what I’ve just found out will be a 5-book series. Fourth Wing is the first, which was my favorite book of 2023. Once you read Fourth Wing, you’ll want to read Iron Flame. I went in with low expectations based on the fact that it’s hard to follow up such a good first book and because I had seen reviews that had said it’s not quite as good. I loved Iron Flame. And I just so loved being back in that world again. I can’t wait to read the next one whenever it comes out.
FOR KIDS: Paint Markers
(Also for adults too). We bought these for my son for Christmas to use with his new easel. He loves them, but more importantly really, I love them too. I feel like a true artiste and highly recommend for making playtime more fun for both you and your littles.
DRINK: Owala Water Bottle
I know Stanley is all the rage, but dare I say, these are better? This water bottle keeps beverages cold and has a straw, but also an option to gulp if that’s more your preference. It has a cap that closes, which is key for me because I can throw it in my work bag and know it won’t leak. It has a handle to hold onto and it fits into all kinds of cupholders and things.
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